JMJ
“What do you seek?”
These are the first words of Jesus in the Gospel according to John:
“Jesus turned, and saw them following, and said to them, “What do you seek?” And they said to him, “Rabbi” (which means Teacher), “where are you staying?” 39 He said to them, “Come and see.” They came and saw where he was staying; and they stayed with him that day, for it was about the tenth hour.” -John 1:38-39 (RSVCE)
If you’ve never meditated or thought about what your answer would be if Jesus asked you what you are seeking, I highly recommend doing so. It’s a good way to examine where our hearts are at and where we’re heading, and can help us get back on track when we’ve lost our way. But the thing I like most about this passage is the response of the disciples and how Jesus answers them. He asks them what they’re seeking, and they respond by asking where Jesus is staying. This is very early on in the start of Jesus’ public ministry, so the disciples don’t know Jesus all that well yet. But their answer is still one full of depth - “where are you staying?”
I’m amazed by the disciples here. They want to know where the Lamb of God is dwelling. They want to be with Him, to stay with Him. And what follows is an invitation from Jesus that is extended to all of us: “Come and see.”
One thing I’ve learned about the Lord is that He never forces His way into our lives. He is always there, extending an invitation of some kind, but it’s up to us if we’re going to say yes or no. And whatever our answer is, He lets us make that choice, even if He wishes it were a different one. This invitation, this “Come and see,” is something we can say yes to everyday, no matter where we are in our relationship with the Lord or what our daily life looks like.
This life is not one full of sunshine and rainbows, but it’s also not meant to be nothing but storms and uphill battles, either. The reality is that we will face a lot of things in our lives, good and bad, and that nothing is as permanent as we would like it to be. The one thing that is constant, however, is Jesus and His love for us. He will always be there, and we know that the invitation to eternal life is awaiting us as well. As Catholics, we have (or should have) a desire to get to Heaven and to glorify the Lord as much as we can while here on this Earth. That might seem like a hard, big, or intimidating task, but I’m convinced that the answer is much simpler than we think it is: Come and see.
The disciples ask where Jesus is dwelling, and He invites them to stay with Him. He says the same to us. Maybe we don’t need to ask the question in the same way the disciples did - we know that Jesus is present in the Eucharist in the tabernacle. But when it comes to where God is leading us and how we can find and follow Him in the everyday, we can ask the same question and be led to the same answer: an invitation to stay close to Him and see what He can and will do in our lives.
I’ve adopted a saying lately, one that I’ve started signing off with on notes, emails, blog posts, and so on: “Stay close to Him and have faith.” I talked last week about how faith isn’t just believing that God exists, but that it’s having a radical belief and trust in Who God is and that He longs to show up for us. I’ll dive into that a bit more next week with one of my favorite Bible passages, but for now I want to focus on what it means to stay with Him. Our fallen nature makes it nearly impossible to have perfect faith all the time. I’m sure we can all think of at least one time in our lives when we didn’t have enough faith in the Lord. But one thing we can control, especially as Catholics who have access to the Eucharist, is if we continue to stay with Jesus. The closer we stay to Jesus, the harder it is for us to go astray.
For a few years now, I’ve made it a priority to go to Mass and pray a Holy Hour in front of the tabernacle everyday. There have been days where I’ve felt so in tune with the Lord I was basically floating on a cloud, and there have been days where I simply did not want to be there and couldn’t focus to save my life. What it has taught me, however, is that the most important thing I can do is continue to show up. Even if I don’t feel like attending Mass or praying a holy hour was effective, time with the Lord, especially in front of the Eucharist, is never wasted. He can work on our hearts even when we can’t (which is good, because if it were up to us to fix our own hearts, we’d be doomed). But if we aren’t showing up, if we aren’t staying close to Him, He can’t (or rather, won’t) barge into our lives and take over. He’s waiting for us to say yes to His invitation to come and see.
I’ve shown up to Mass and holy hour very angry at God. I’ve shown up confused. I’m shown up anxious, depressed, exhausted, you name it. I’ve also not shown up because of all those same reasons. I’m not proud to admit that my stubborn and prideful self thought I knew better than the Lord and that those thoughts led me to turn away from Him. This is my Heavenly Father Who has gone through incomprehensible ends to call me His daughter and prepare a place for me in Eternity, and I’ve still fallen into the trap of turning my back on Him out of anger, hurt, or despair. I’m also painfully aware that there will most likely be more times in my life where I don’t stay as close to Him as I should. However, I can confidently say that in the times I chose to stay, to show up with my emotions instead of running away, the Lord made beautiful things out of ashes. Life was never easier after running from God - oftentimes, it was harder. It took me a long time to realize that the best way to go through life, to say yes to His invitation, is to stay close to Him no matter what our circumstances are. He doesn’t want us to hide our feelings from Him, and nothing on our hearts is too small to bring to Him. He wants us to stay with Him, to dwell with Him, with everything we’re experiencing, be it good or bad. He cares about it all.
There’s a scene from The Chosen that I think illustrates this point really well. It’s a scene with Jesus and Thomas, and it’s a beautiful illustration of how Jesus responds to our confusion, anger, and hurt (you can watch it here). My favorite line is from Jesus towards the end of the clip: “Please stay with me, Thomas, and you’ll understand in time.” Jesus is so compassionate in our sufferings. The things that break our hearts break His too. But He isn’t finished. He hasn’t abandoned us. He isn’t done writing the story yet. He can and will complete our joy, even if it’s not in the way we might want or expect. Until we get there, the best thing we can do is stay as close to Him as possible and hold on to our hope that Jesus keeps His word. He tells the Apostles before He ascends into Heaven, “ …wait for the promise of the Father, which you have heard (saith he) by my mouth” -Acts 1:4 (DR). Wait for His promises, but wait with Him. Stay close to Him. Continue in prayer, especially by putting yourself in the presence of the Eucharist, both by attending Mass and adoring Him in Adoration as much as you can.
He will not lead you astray, and He won’t abandon you. You are His child, whom He loves more than you could ever fathom. When in doubt, hold fast to Him. Trust Him. Come and see what He has in store for you.
Stay close to Him and have faith!
-Brandy